I can guarantee you that not one parent would stand if asked this question. This blog came about after having a very random conversation with my children, and my middle son blurts out, “I didn’t have a good childhood”. I was caught off guard but not entirely surprised.
Before I continue let’s discuss something. In 2005 I filed for divorce, and at the time, my children were 6, 3, 1 and 6 months. This was the beginning of a very messy divorce, and a horrific co-parenting relationship which included time spent between two very different homes.
Too often, when couples divorce, and it’s messy, the focus is usually on the drama between the parents and less on the effect on the children. When I chose to file for divorce, my children were at the forefront of my mind. How would they be affected? How many individuals do you know, who have stayed in an unhealthy relationship for the kids? I know plenty!
Of course this was the first thing that came to mind after my son’s comment. I talked to each of the kids, and they gave me their thoughts on their childhood. The good, and the bad. It really made me think, and ultimately blame myself. I didn’t express my hat to them because I never want to make their feelings and experiences about me.
What did I miss?
How didn’t I not notice x, y and z?
What could I have done differently?
Then I had to check myself! I said, “sis, you aren’t perfect, you’re human!” I listened, processed and apologized for the role that I played. Ultimately, my point is, and I’ve said it before, you won’t always get it right. Parenting is NOT for the weak! There are some days I question everything, and other days I’m like, “sis, you’re killing it!”
To my parents out there, be easy on yourself, and don’t forget to exercise patience with your children. Truth be told, I was more happy that my son felt comfortable enough to speak up! That’s the real win.
Until next time...🦋
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